Wasps Attack

Let me just start out this blog entry by saying that the bugs in Korea are some of the most terrifying things I have ever encountered.  I am cheating when I say this because I am corralling the HORRIBLE spiders that we have around the school in with the terrifying wasps we have been dealing with for the past month or two. To fully detail the our experience we have to go back to a sunny and (relatively) warm morning around two months ago.

The sun was shining that day, I remember because I could hardly read the words on my laptop as I sat up around 9:30 in the morning.  Manda was sleeping soundly next to me and I was getting my daily dosage of internet in before the cold dead reality of my life in Korea set in for the day.  Luckily it was the weekend so my daily depression could wait.  Now when I am on the computer and Manda is asleep I mute all sounds on my computer, because I am a nice guy and that is what nice guys do.  I sat there browsing the internet in vegetative bliss until I hear a distinct buzzing noise to my right.

Why hello there

I turn my head inquisitively only to have a black blur buzz by me before slamming itself into the window.  It falls into the little crevice beside the window out of my sight.  Now prior to this incident a praying mantis appeared out of nowhere in our room and felt the need to go and rest need Manda's foot.  So I am used to the whole large bugs appearing out of god knows where, but this was not a mantis, it was smaller and blacker.  The sickening buzzing echoed out from window and the biggest wasp I have ever seen crawls out and stands there looking at me with its beady compound eyes.

 I had two choices, either try to deal with the problem myself without waking Manda, or wake her and give her pants soiling terror.  I decided that I would probably cause a flurry of noise when trying to squash the intruder to our sacred abode.  So I quietly said "Manda there is a giant wasp in the room."  I would like to think that is the fastest I have ever seen Manda wake up ever, as we stared at the intruders segmented body.    I had grabbed a fly swatter from downstairs to deal with the mosquito menace at the end of summer which has stayed in our room.

This is a closely related species eating a god damn mantis

So as Manda and I stared down a fine specimen of the Giant Asian Hornet family, also known as a "commander bee" in Korea.  I grasped my fly swatter like the finest Hanzo steel and used my cat like reflexes to flail around attempting to hit a small black and yellow object sitting nicely on the windowsill.  One of my swings connected and the wasp went struck the ground like a meteor before being repeatedly smashed by the blunt side of the swatter.

So with a breath of relief Manda and I went about our lives after the initial wasp had been unceremoniously destroyed.  That is until one evening while sitting up, probably playing World of Warcraft or something equally nerdy Manda saw another wasp.  Unlike the first wasp this one was out during the night time, and the outside was cold as Jack Frost's symbolic testicles.  This attack ended fairly uneventfully, but left us with an impression we wouldn't be seeing the last of the wasp menace.

Manda's discovery

Fast forward to yesterday,  five wasp attacks later. I am currently doing extra work at another school to make up some money that I had lost working part time most of January.  I get a text from Manda informing me that she has probably figured out there the wasps are originating from, and oh yeah there is a giant wasp in our room again.  I was about three hours away from returning for the evening so I tried my best to encourage her to do the brave thing and retreat to another room until I could return and deal with the latest invader.

She informed me that the light fixture of the light slightly to the right of our bed was hanging down on one side and was in fact big enough to fit giant death wasps, spiders, and other bugs I'd prefer not to meet.  With the solution to our problem (hopefully) without our grasp I finished my tortuously long middle school class and grabbed my stuff.  I hurried home after I finished my classes for the night and came home to strike down the beast and then formulate a plan to banish the wasps from our realm permanently.  First however we needed to make preparations.

Now here is your problem right here Ma'am.

The next morning after several hours of uneasy sleep we hurried to Homeplus to grab materials to fortify our room from exoskeleton-ed intruders.  We secured the goods and headed back the apartment to duct tape the hell out of that light.  Duct tape we did, and while we were doing that we discovered the one screw of the light had become loose like so many of my college aged Korean students after a few to many Soju's.  We used the tape, to put it up and then tried to screw the offending screw back into place.

Manda putting on the finishing touches

While I would like to say that I am completely sure that we will be wasp free I sadly just do not know.  We are currently on day two without wasps.  I am hoping that we are actually wasp free and that this will lead to having less other nasty bugs in this upcoming summer near the end of our ESL Honeymoon Adventure.